What love is not?

Our definition and understanding for love and its additional concepts is remarkably inadequate. For instance, when two hormonal teenagers meet together in a dark, secluded area and hold each other tightly, we call it love. When an old couple, married for 35 years sit in a quiet restaurant and eat and laugh and giggle, all this while fondly holding on to one another’s hand, we call that ‘love’ as well. When your mother sacrifices her favourite TV show so that you can happily watch a football game, that is love, too.
The word “Love” is a very ambiguous word, often used to refer to any or all the emotive and perceptive forces that make people fall in to. “Love’ is complex and no simple explanation of love will do. Love is often referred to as an “emotion” although on closer investigation, the term “love” includes you having to follow your girlfriend in every Zara, Forever 21 and Forever New outlets that ever existed in the history of mankind.
Everything is about perspective. And love isn’t exclusive of it. Whether it is the love of your dear grandmother, your best friend, your daughter, or yes, your lover—Love summonses your spirit and alters your vision about your life, forever. How a single raw, misunderstood and lucky emotion holds the ability to completely turn your life around is both extraordinary and scary at the same time.
Love is a fluke, some may believe. You are made to find love and feel loved and believe that your love is the best love based on your restricted surroundings and behavioural patterns. How are we then,  to know that out of 7 billion people in the world, we’ve found our best match?

You believe that your romantic partner is your soulmate and the best there is. But how is one to know? What if your ‘best match’ is living in an entirely different country, or a different continent or even a different universe? How is one to know what is best for them? How is one to know anything?
What if you just brushed past your soulmate on your back from work in the metro yesterday and didn’t even realize it? And in all certainty, you will never ever get a chance to see that person ever again. How does that sound? That what could’ve been, will never be. Perfect Love, as it seems, is then a complex probabilistic and stochastic event which in all likelihood, never really happens. Does that mean we settle with whatever we seem to scamper from our surroundings? The best fit from the restricted sample space we are destined with? We’d never know. And we shouldn’t.
Because this isn’t what love is about. Love is not some magical equation. Love doesn’t happen when a certain number of parameters are fulfilled and after differentiation and integration, you land up with a magical number which tells you if your love is real or not.

Love is what you want it to be. For others, your love maybe unreasonable, it may even be stupid or something that they don’t accept, but in the end, the most important thing is that it is your love.


God Does NOT (NOT) Exist

Atheism is not a negation of anything. You don’t have to negate what no one can prove exists. No, atheism is a very positive affirmation of man’s ability to think for himself, to do for himself, to find answers to his own problems.

– Madalyn Murray O’Hair

We all must be aware of the indubitable co-relation and interdependence between God and religion. If we look at religion in the Utopian, the ideal way of it, then it is merely the path to spiritual enlightenment and liberation in the manifestation of faith with Nirvana as one of the destinations. Now, when we look at religion this way, nothing seems wrong, right?

Maybe religion was a concept, a design, a humble notion, a working model that was devised to make people believe in their own faith. That’s all it seems, in broader terms. People want some kind of faith to cling on to. They need it, rather.

 So the guys back then must have thought that,

Hell yeah, they want a way to express their faith? Let’s give ‘em that. We’ll create this levelheaded thing called Religion which will be like totally cool and all. The lads will not only find a way to express and hang on but will also like, learn about life, you know, in an allegorical way.”

“All we’ll provide them with is the figurative path, in the form of short stories or poems which will like, guide them and all and give them a way to differentiate between the good and evil.”


But those guys weren’t completely right. Apparently, after centuries, religion is serious stuff. You can’t express your opinion without hurting a pocketful of over sensitive peeps. People think that their religion is the ‘best’ and all other should perish. Religion surely wasn’t created to cater to your ego? Surely the purpose was not to create a divide between people following a different religion?

All religions are connected to the identical Ultimate Reality and lead people towards a common goal. This is true even though the various religions make exclusive claims about themselves, sometimes asserting the uniqueness and incomparability of their God or ultimate principle.

 Only egos, beliefs and faiths separate us.

The basis of any religion is that you must believe something someone else tells you is true, even though your mind tells you it is a lie and it makes no sense. There is name for that: fideism. Without fideism, the concept of religion would not exist.

I am not here to proclaim that the belief in your God is baseless. In my question, I just want to know why people believe so blindly? Without knowledge of other texts or ideas, how can people make informed decisions? Believing what you want is fine but I think believing while being ignorant of other matters pertaining to what you believe is ridiculous. In all likelihood, life isn’t fair. Religion and God give us the chance to not lose hope.


The difference between science and religion is that the former is always willing to reconsider any of its theories, laws and rules.


For me atleast, the religious texts are in a way like fairy tales. The characters are imaginary, the story is fictitious and at the end of it, it teaches us morality and principles. But when we start taking things way too seriously and as a matter of fact, way too literally, we tend to defeat the purpose of it all. It is like searching for the shoe that Cinderella lost or looking for the mirror which the queen used in Snow White.

People don’t take these stories literally. That is because they know it is not true and nothing like that happened. They are metaphors and analogies, after all. How we look at it is the bigger picture. To teach a point, allegorism is used.

QUESTION: How can the reader know which scriptures are literal and which are to be taken symbolically? Context and logic would be the key to this.


Consider doing all the things you have ever done to please your God.  Does it really make a difference? Do you think that only when you effectively please him, does he ‘grant’ you your desire? Or is it just another reassurance you give yourself?

You are only scared of God because you don’t know him. That is not a fear of God.  That is technically a fear of the unknown.

God is not a wishing well. God is you. God is what you want him to be.  God is that faith. We need something to look up to when all is lost. That doesn’t make it real. That’s like saying Batman is real. Maybe he is. After all, we can only try and contemplate to think rationally.

So, for you it may be Jesus, and for me it may be another. If you are unable to accept me for my beliefs then your religion has failed to do its job, which is to create peace. The only difference is that you need a monument to reassert your faith and I don’t.

You can choose to consider or not consider the extra ‘NOT’ in the parenthesis of the title. You have a choice here but not necessarily in religion.

Whose Country Is It Anyway?

Where everything is Messed up and the Women don’t matter.

It is a known fact that the country we live in is filled with socially righteous misfits who are religiously patriarchal misogynists. To be honest, I consider myself lucky (unfortunately) to have not been born with two X chromosomes. Provided that you are a master of your own choices and are independent, you are in for a thrashing. You are probably looked at with greasy perverted eyes dripping with soul penetrating disgusting remarks. A show of skin is inevitably and spontaneously considered as an open invitation and offer to touch and/or in most cases, assault, physically.

The more shocking fact about the present ‘what women should wear’ debate is that it is not only men who are being all ‘no skin show please’, it is our very own mothers doing the same, in most cases. I made a very unfortunate observation the other day, when a girl who happened to wear something that was not at all accepted by an auntyji had to face a very shameful and embarrassing moment in front of her friends. The auntyji, in full form took moral policing in her very own hands and bellowed at the girl in a crowded mall for not wearing something that was more in sync with the ‘Bharatiya Sanskriti’ and the ‘Riti-Riwaz of us Indians’.  Her argument consisted of words such as ‘skin-showing’, ‘no teachings from her parents’, ‘giving men opportunity’ and what not.

Women are being shamed for their choices, be it what they wear or why they wear a certain outfit. They are being policed and monitored closely by frustrated folks who just can’t see an inch of skin, provided that skin is on a woman. What they don’t understand is that women don’t go about raping men who shamelessly roam about the streets in their boxer shorts revealing their dirty, hairy and disgusting legs. Who is society then to lay out some vague rules and absurd dress code for women?

The older generation is too stubborn to accept any change, no matter how positive it may be and are also impervious and resistant against the criticism of the age-old traditions that are redundant in today’s world. Oh, the irony.

Some people are justifying rape as an inappropriate act which happens because of an accident. It is a request to kindly enlighten me with the synonymity of rape with accident? Why? How will one justify rape?

“Oh, I was just walking on the street when I happened to slip on a banana peel and BAAM, I fell on a woman and raped her. ”

How will you justify the rape of a 5 year old girl? “Oh, her diaper was so short and reveling and BAAM, it was her fault she didn’t wear a burqa covered diaper”, could be one of the more plausible justification.

How will society decide a woman’s uniform? On what principals? On what authority? On what grounds?

Making laws does not solve the big picture. Making laws against rapes means that we are accepting by default that rape WILL happen. By making laws we are taking care of what happens after a rape has been committed. We are assuming that the only way to stop rape will be to put in the mind of potential rapist, a sense of fear. (well, unless you have a MAMA holding a ‘big’ post in the government, you are pretty much safe)

Oh, I get it. Let us hypothetically consider that we are in a parallel universe and the woman are living their life as dictated by society.

What happens then? Women stay at home. Wear what they are asked to. Cook. Get thrashed by drunk husbands who fail at their jobs and are frustrated with their life. Cook some more. Watch your husbands blow all the money on booze which you were carefully saving since the past 6 months to buy a new jewelry set for your mother-in-law because she is your master now. Did I mention cook? Satisfy your husband. Be happy that you have such an amazing life. Get thrashed by your drunk husband at night. Still be happy for a wonderful life. Don’t whine about it. Become a maid servant in your own house. Don’t worry about it because you are a woman and no one cares about you.

The only scary part about the above mentioned scenario is that we need not go to a parallel universe to experience this. This is the story of a typical Indian housewife, on a daily basis, until she is fortunate enough to die. I really sometimes ask myself, is marriage overrated? But that topic is for a different time.

The kids are inheriting the patriarchal mentality which, in the name of culture and tradition, continues to suffocate and oppress women.

A time will come when rapes will be so common that you won’t even feel a hint of empathy, sympathy or find anything morally wrong in it.

The basic anger and frustration is inside each one of us. Only some feel the need to channelize that energy to make a contribution and bring about a change. Others just complain and pray to their Gods to bring about a wind of change. This impotent mentality and accepting the ‘Chalta Hai’ attitude is getting us nowhere. We will continue to remain a 3rd world country and will always be looked down as inferiors.

Welcome To India, where everything is messed up and the Women don’t matter.